GOOD / DON'T: the wedding guest

You are not the groom. Nobody is photographing your shoes. But four days of functions is a long time to look slightly wrong, and the family remembers. Twelve quick judgements for the wedding guest, from the haldi to the last dance.

The functions

1. Good.

   A yellow or mustard kurta at the haldi.

   Morning, outdoors, turmeric everywhere. Cotton or linen, something you will not miss if it stains. Kolhapuris or plain juttis.

2. Don't.

   White or ivory at the haldi.

   The paste does not come out, and pale colours are the first thing anyone aims at.

3. Very good.

   A linen Nehru jacket at the mehendi.

   Over a kurta in green, teal or a soft pink. Daytime, relaxed, and still dressed. Leave the bandhgala at home.

4. Good.

   Something you can dance in at the sangeet.

   Jewel tones, a bandhgala in a warm colour, or an Indo-Western jacket. Lift your arms in it before the day: if the jacket rises to your ribs, it is too tight in the armhole.

5. Don't.

   Black or white at the pheras.

   Many families avoid both at the ceremony. Navy, maroon, bottle green and rust say the same thing without the risk.

6. Very good.

   A bandhgala on the wedding night.

   For the baraat, the jaimala and dinner, it is the most useful thing a guest can own. Closed collar, matching or ivory trousers, polished shoes.

7. Depends.

   Black at the reception.

   At an evening reception in a hotel, black is common and usually welcome. At a family-hosted reception that follows the ceremony the same day, ask first.

8. Good.

   A tuxedo when the card says black tie.

   And only then. A dark suit at a black-tie cocktail night is the one outfit that looks like you did not read the card.

The guest's own mistakes

1. Don't.

   A sherwani as a guest.

   It is the groom's garment. Close family sometimes wear one; friends of the couple do not. An achkan or a bandhgala does the same job without the confusion.

2. Don't.

   The groom's colour.

   If you know he is in ivory and gold, you are not. If you do not know, ask: the family WhatsApp group exists for this.

3. Good.

   A handkerchief in your pocket at a gurdwara.

   Heads are covered inside, shoes come off at the door and everyone sits on the floor. Bring your own head covering and wear trousers that let you sit cross-legged.

4. Very good.

   One thing that fits perfectly.

   You do not need a new outfit for every function. One jacket cut to you, worn twice with different kurtas or shirts, looks better than five that were bought off a hanger the week before.

Day: linen and colour. Night: a closed collar. Black tie: a tuxedo, or nothing.

A guest's wardrobe, in three pieces

When to order

For a wedding on 11 or 12 December, order by 27 November. For a reception between 2 and 6 December, order by 18 November. A cutter comes to you in Gurugram or Delhi, with one fitting about a week later. Book a visit.

Not sure what the card means? Every Indian wedding dress code, decoded.